Betrayed
by kath-lee15
Summary: Buffy's moved back to the states and is enjoying life in New York when she runs into the last thing she expected, a newly human Angel. Will this be the best thing that ever happened to her or the worst.
1. Chapter 1

This story is set a little over a year after the series finally of Angel and 2 years after the Buffy finally.

-Buffy and her boyfriend Steven were walking along the streets of New York, they were suppose to meet this guy for Steven's work and they were running a little late after Buffy had decided to do a little shopping along the way. She had been living in New York for six months now. Europe had gotten boring after a while and she had started to miss America so her and her sister had moved back to the States, mainly New York. Buffy was certain that she was going to hate it because of the cold but she had been wrong, she loved it, and the shopping had a lot to do with it.

-She was officially retired form the slaying business, now she spent most of her time teaching slayers here in New York. All of her friends were here too, they were now part of the new council that was run by Giles, everything was going great for everybody, even Dawn, who had done a lot of complaining when Buffy had told her that she was to attend a normal school instead of slayer school which she had been attending in Europe. Now she was almost all cut up on the time she had missed because of all the demon fighting that they had done in Sunnydale, she was about to start college in Columbia in 4 months. Buffy was terribly proud of her.

-Buffy had been particularly busy enjoying having a normal life, well as normal as possible for her. She dated, a lot, she didn't want to tie herself down just yet. Her and Steven had been seeing each other for a little over a month, which was the longest she had been seeing one person since she had retired.

-Buffy was so cut up thinking about how her life had changed that she wasn't paying attention to what Steven was saying.

-"Buffy, are you listening to me?" He asked concerned.

-"Oh! Sorry I was thinking about something else, I'm sorry", she apologized.

-"It's alright. So like I was saying, this guy that we're meeting, my company's dying to hire him, apparently he's one of the best lawyer in town."

-"Why wouldn't he want to work for you guys?" Buffy tried to look interested in all this business stuff. This was proving to be kind of hard because most of the time she had no idea what he was talking about.

-"It appears that, he is very specific as to who he takes on as client. From what I've heard he's some kind of good Samaritan, he only works for people with an extra clean reputation."

-"what's wrong with your reputation?"

-"Nothing, I think. But rumour has it that he likes to dig around in people's past to make sure before discussing anything."

-"Well, if he wanted to tell you that there was no chance in hell he'll work for you, then why would he ask for me to be there." Buffy questioned.

-"From what he told me, he already had plan with his girlfriend today, but since I told him that I really needed his help he asked if I knew anyone that could keep her company while we talked, and well, who's better than you for small talk."

-"Thank you, I think."

-"It shouldn't take that long anyway. He's in or he's out. We're almost there. Start looking out okay."

-"I don't even know what he looks like. How…" Buffy paused. She had this weird feeling in the pit of her stomach. She decided to shake it off, this meeting was important for Steven she couldn't screw it up because of some bad food.

-"Buffy, are you alright." He noticed she had stopped talking in the middle of a sentence.

-"Yeah I'm fine. Probably just some bad food." The two of them kept walking. Buffy was getting worried, the more she walked the worst it got. She got thinking, the feeling wasn't new, she used to feel like that when…

-She never got to finish her thought, she saw him.

-"Angel!" she murmured.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

-"Angel"

-It was him, she was sure, she kept staring at him hoping that if this was an illusion it would go away on its own. It wasn't possible anyway. It was daytime, angel was a vampire, he would burn.

-Buffy was thrown out of her thought process by Steven who grabbed her arm.

-"Buffy, God, are you alright? You look like you've seen a ghost." He asked concerned.

-"I'm", she still hadn't taken her eyes away from Angel, who had yet to disappear like she was expecting if this was a segment of her imagination.

-Steven followed her stare. "Oh! You found him. Thank God, I though we might have missed him." He said taking her hand and leading her toward Angel.

-Buffy gasped. So it wasn't her imagination, Steven could see him too. She let Steven lead her toward Angel. To say that she was in shock was an understatement, how was that possible. Him there in plain daylight.

-Again her thoughts were interrupted, but this time it wasn't by Steven. She felt Angel's eyes on her. She looked up, and for a few seconds the two of them simply shared at each other.

-Buffy had no idea what she expected, but it sure as hell wasn't that. After the few seconds of surprise his eyes turned cold and then, he just wasn't looking at her anymore.

-He was angry with her. Buffy felt like she had come in at the end of the movie, she had no idea what was going on.

-"Steven, Hi!" Her eyes shot up. He had spoken. "Nice to see you. This is my girlfriend Stephanie." At the word 'girlfriend' Buffy looked beside Angel. How could she had missed that, he wasn't alone. Buffy tried to ignore the pang of jealousy that went through her at the sight. She was so busy pretending not to be jealous that she almost missed Steven introducing her.

-"Buffy, this is Liam McAllister, the lawyer my company is dying to hire. Liam, this is my girlfriend Buffy Summers."

-Buffy took a deep breath, she was expecting Angel to tell Steven that they knew each other. But once again, she was dead wrong. He pretended not to know her, he even went as far as to offer her his hand to shake.

-She shook his hand trying to make eye contact, but he persisted in avoiding her eyes. This was probably what she needed to shake her off her torpor. It pissed her off, he had no reason to treat her like this. She was about to tell him so when the girl, as Buffy had decided to call her, spoke.

-"Hum, Buffy right? Why don't we drink a cup of coffee while they talk business. I don't know about you, but this stuff bores me to death."

-The polite thing to do would have been to smile and agree with her, but Buffy had already decided that she didn't like her and she had no intention of pretending other wise.

-"I would love too, but I'm kind of feeling sick at the moment, so I think I'm going to take of." She didn't wait for an answer before starting to leave.

-"I'll see you later", she told Steven before walking away from the three of them.

-As soon as she reached her apartment, Buffy collapsed with her back to the door and let all the tears she had been holding upon seeing Angel, out. She knew she had no right to be this upset, her and Angel were long done, but she couldn't understand what was going on or why he was so angry with her that he wouldn't even acknowledge her.

-She had no idea how long she sat there crying. Probably a while, since when she stopped she was all cried out. She got herself up and walked over to the couch where she sat again, it probably wouldn't look too good if Dawn walked in to find her sister crying by the door.

-She sat on the couch considering everything that had just happened. She tried to be as methodical as possible, which was being particularly hard, seeing as it was Angel she was talking about. She had never been particularly good at putting her feelings aside when it came to Angel.

-She went over his image in her head trying to figure out if he was wearing any jewellery that could allow him into the sunlight. She didn't think he had any, but it still was a possibility. It was probably the only one she had.

-She was still sitting on the couch when she heard a knock on the door, she got up to answer and was partly disappointed to find Steven standing on the other side of the door.

-"Oh! Hi." She said allowing him to come in"

-He didn't look too happy with her. "What the hell happened. You promised me you were going to help me out on this one and then you just bailed."

-"I'm sorry. I just needed to get out of there." She tried being as truthful as possible.

-"Your lucky, Liam wasn't too upset about you leaving and his girlfriend was understanding enough otherwise I might have to find another job right now."

-"So you got him to work for you, I don't see why you're so pissed at me." She should have been grateful that she hadn't screwed things up for him, but she needed to take her anger out on someone, and well, here he was. That was when she missed slaying the most, it always was a great way to work up her anger.

-"I'm pissed because you were inconsiderate. You tell me that there was no way you could have hanged out with her for a few minutes."

-"Actually, no. she was annoying me". Buffy answered back.

-"How could she annoy you she barely said a few words to you"

-He had her there. How was she suppose to explain why she had found that girl so annoying.

-"That's not the point." She defended herself. "And by the way, if you want to talk inconsiderate why don't you talk to your friend Liam, or whatever his name is now. He's the inconsiderate one. Now I'd like to be alone, so you know where the door is." With that she walked back to the living room.

-"Buffy., he pleaded.

-"Just go, okay." Steven looked at her one last time before leaving the apartment.


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3

-When Dawn came home from school Buffy was still sitting at the same spot Steven had left her in. Dawn noticed right away that something was wrong with her sister.

-"Buffy, What's wrong?" she asked sitting beside her sister.

-"Hum, nothing I'm fine." Buffy tried to convince her sister,

-"You look like you've been crying. I'm not stupid Buffy. I know when something is wrong."

-"Don't worry. I'm fine. It was nothing." She said as she got up and went to her room. She didn't feel like seeing anybody right now.

-Dawn got up to follow Buffy but when she tried opening her bedroom door it was locked.

-"Buffy"

-"I'm fine okay. I just need some time alone." Buffy said through the door.

-Dawn decided to leave her sister be for awhile. If things didn't get better soon then she'd deal with it.

-Buffy spent the rest of the night debating whether or not to try to find Angel. On one side she was terrified of what he was going to tell her, on the other she was dying to find out what the hell was going on. So in the end the latter won and she got onto her computer and google him. She found out that he was working at a law firm not too far from where she lived. She decided that she could stop by in the morning.

-She didn't sleep much that night though. She kept creating scenarios on our seeing Angel would go and let's just say, in most cases it didn't end well.

-Dawn walked into the kitchen the next morning to find Buffy sitting there with the newspaper but Dawn could see that she was only pretending to be reading it.

-"Good morning"

-"Yeah", Buffy answered absently.

-"So I have a free period this morning and I was thinking of going to the office with you, if that's alright."

-Buffy looked up from her newspaper. "Oh! I'm sorry, but I wasn't planning on going this morning. I have other stuff to do. You can still go though. Tell Giles I'll be there later today, okay."

-"Where are you going?" Dawn asked.

-"Hum, It's not important." Buffy avoided the subject. She got up and gathered her purse.

-"I'll see you tonight okay." And with that she left the apartment.

-Buffy stood in front of the building where Angel worked.. It was barely after 9:00. She didn't know if Angel was going to be in or not.

-She slowly made her way into the building and to the help desk.

-"Hi! I'm looking for Angel… hum I mean Liam McAllister." She corrected herself.

-"Do you have an appointment?" The lady asked.

-"No" she started, "but I really need to see him. It's personal"

-"I shouldn't, but he doesn't have an appointment right now and you really look like you need to see him. So go ahead. But if he asked, I didn't know about it"

-Buffy smiled. "Thanks". She walked in the direction that the secretary had indicated her.

-As she stood in front of the door, suddenly Buffy didn't feel all that confident about this. She was about to bail when the door opened.

-"I'll call you later man. Oh!" He saw Buffy. "I didn't know you had an appointment. Sorry to had kept you waiting".

-Buffy was about to answer when angel appeared beside the other man.

-"She doesn't have an appointment", he said giving her a cold glare.

-"Liam, man, when they're that pretty they don't need appointment. Now be a gentleman." The unknown guy reprimanded Angel.

-"It's alright. We go way back, right, Liam" she emphasized his name. Somewhat having someone on her side made her more confident.

-"I didn't know you two knew each other. I'm Mark, nice to meet you." He extended his hand to her and she shook it.

-"Used to. We used to know each other", Angel corrected.

-Mark noticed the exchange between the two and decided to leave them alone. "So, I'm going to take off, Liam, be nice." He left the two of them alone.

-"So, are you going to let me in", she asked.

-"What are you doing here?" He asked still very cold.

-"Well I don't know. Why would I be here?" She deadpanned. After she realized that he still wasn't letting her in she moved passed him and into his office.

-"Thank you for letting me in" she said as she looked around while Angel closed the door and went to sit behind his desk.

-"What can I do for you?" He asked still not looking at her.

-"Well, you could start with what the hell is going on?"

-"I don't know what you mean?"

-"Could you stop it? I get it you're angry with me. Now if you could do me a favour and tell me why your pissed off I would appreciate it. Oh! And if in the process you want to mention how you can hang out in the sun, that would be nice."

-"I didn't think you'd care. You sure as hell didn't when I asked you for help."

-"I don't know what you"

-"You want to talk, fine, let's talk. I'm human. You want to know when that happened. That happened a year ago. Remember when I called you to ask for help about an apocalypse and you did not even cared enough to tell me no on the phone. Well that fight that I had to handle on my own, you might remember it as the huge earthquake that destroyed half L.A."

-"I…"

-"I lost all my friends in that fight. Every single one of them. I also lost my son. Every single one person that I cared about is now dead Buffy, and you couldn't even be bothered to give me a hand."

-"Angel", Buffy was speechless.

-"I would have died for you. Actually, I almost did more time than I could remember. In fact, I was about to just do that the last time we saw each other. I wanted to died to protect you and you sent me back. I wasn't your champion remember, you wanted Spike, who if you care, died in L.A. too. I did what you wanted Buffy, that's all I ever did, and where did it get me. The only time I ever asked you for help, you threw me off without even having the decency to tell me yourself, you had one of your minion do it."

-"I almost died in that fight, but you know what I would have preferred that. I lost everybody I cared about. After that, the powers that be decided to recompense me by giving me my life back. I wanted to die but instead I got my humanity back. So excuse me if you were not the first person I wanted to see after that. Actually, I still don't. so why don't you do me a favour and leave me alone."

-"Angel, I'm sorry, I"

-"Just go, and have a nice life", and with that he got up and left.

-Buffy stood there speechless. She was right, this hadn't ended well. The worst part is she had no idea what he was talking about.

-Buffy stood there for a couple minutes more until she realised that Angel wasn't coming back so she left. She really needed to figure out what had happened in L.A.


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4

-Buffy felt like she was in a trance as she walked into the building where her and her friends ran the council. She needed answers and this was the best place to get them. The council had record or every incident that was due to supernatural.

-She purposely avoided coming into contact with any of her friends, she didn't feel like explaining right now. She got into the record room and locked the door behind her.

-She spent the next hours going to records. It wasn't that hard to find those on L.A. seeing as it was a huge city, but the longest task was finding the right record from the pile. Part of her wished that she wouldn't find anything, she had no idea how she would be able to deal with it if she was responsible for so many people's death.

-Sadly, she did find the record. Angel had been telling the truth. The file said that Angel himself had called him to report an upcoming apocalypse and ask for help, but that it had been judged as not that important so no help had been sent. 2 weeks later half Los Angeles was destroyed, millions of people were dead and they hadn't done anything about it, she hadn't done anything about it. Buffy felt sick. No wonder Angel hated her, she was responsible for the death of all his friends.

-She wanted to break down and let everything out, but there was still a lot more for her to find out. She looked more closely at the file to try to find out why she hadn't known about this. Normally whenever there was a possible apocalypse she was told about it. There was no way anybody who worked for them would tell anybody that they wouldn't help without her or friends knowing about it. She went through all of the files but nowhere was it mention who took the decision not to help Angel. She was stuck, she had no idea where to go from there. So she decided that she had to ask her friends. If they took that decision she needed to know. She called a meeting and had all of her friends meet her in the conference room.

-30 minutes later the gang was gathered in the conference room. Buffy was standing by the window trying to figure out how to approach the subject. She wanted to keep Angel out of it, at least until she knew exactly what had happened.

-"Hum, I need to talk to you guys about something that happened a year ago. I just got informed that apparently the earthquake that happened in L.A. was not as much an earthquake as an apocalypse and that somehow we decided not to help. But yet again I wasn't informed of that."

-"Buffy", Giles started. "It was a year ago. You don't expect us to remember something that happened so long ago right."

-"The millions of people who died would, but if you need it, here's the file", she threw the file at Giles and walked back to stand by the window while her friends consulted the file.

-"Buffy, is this about Angel", Willow asked as she realized that Angel's name was on the file.

-"Hum, I don't know. I remember you guys telling me that he was dead and that there was nothing I could have done, but this file says differently."

-"Buffy", this time it was Xander.

-"I want to know who took the decision and how come I didn't know about this."

-"Buffy"

-"Stop saying my name like I'm some little child I want to know how come I wasn't told that Angel asked for help."

-"Because it wasn't a good idea that's why." It was Xander who had spoken,

-"What?"

-"Andrew took the call, when he realised who it was he told me and I called everybody. Andrew told us what Angel had said and we decided that it was unsafe for us to send him help. Believe me, we didn't know if would turn out so bad."

-"Why?" Buffy was starting to be emotional.

-"You said yourself that you didn't trust Angel anymore, it could have been a trap or something. Knowing you, as soon as you would have known, you would have rushed over there. We didn't think it was a good idea."

-"So you sacrificed millions of people to keep me away from Angel. You guys are incredible." Buffy ran out of the room, she didn't want them to see her crying.

-She had no idea how long she had been running when she stopped out of breath in the middle of the park. She decided to head home.

-When she got into her apartment she realized that she must have been gone a while because all of her friends were standing in her living room.

-She ignored them and walked straight into her bedroom, locking the door behind her.


	5. Chapter 5

-Buffy was walking alone in the cemetery looking for vampires, demons, anything that she could pummelled to work out her frustration.

-For the past few days, it had been practically the only thing she'd done. She couldn't tolerate the thought of being at the council with them so she spent her days walking around town, and her nights in the cemetery.

-She heard a suspicious noise and swung around, holding out her stake.

-"Whoa, back off B, it's just me." Buffy heard Faith speak and lowered her stake.

-"Sorry."

-"No probs, makes me practice my reflexes. So what are you doing here? You are supposed to leave slaying to the girls remember, you wanted a life."

-"Working out some anger. Beside it's not like I'll ever have a life, it's too late for that."

-"What's going on?" Face asked curious at the tension in her friend. Her and Buffy were good friends, it had taken them a long time to get there, but after what had happened in Sunnydale they had gotten progressively closer.

-"They haven't told you what's going on I assume." Buffy spoke angrily. Why would they, they hadn't felt the desire to tell her about it until she had confronted them about it, why would they tell Faith.

-"Nope, only told me that you weren't feeling well."

-"Figures." She mumbled.

-"B. What's going on?"

-"You remember last year, that earthquake in L.A." She started.

-"The one that killed Angel?" Faith remembered that period well, Buffy had taken it pretty hard and Faith thought that even thought it been a year, Buffy still wasn't over it.

-"Apparently it wasn't an earthquake and Angel didn't die."

-"What?" Faith asked confused.

-"I ran into Angel four days ago, during the day." She emphasized.

-"Wait, the day, how?"

-"He's human, he told me, well he told me while he was yelling at me for killing millions of people including his son and all of his friends." She finished sadly.

-"I don't get it B. You didn't do anything." Faith was confused.

-"Exactly. It wasn't an earthquake, what happened in L.A., it was an apocalypse and Angel called me a while before for help. I didn't give it to him and people died."

-"You would never do that. What happened, were you possessed or something."

-"I didn't." She breathed in trying to calm herself down. "They took the call, decided not to do anything about it and told him that it was my decision and then never mentioned it to me." She finished angrily, she couldn't believe that the people that she had trusted the most all these years could have done that to her.

-"Who's they?"

-"Giles, Willow, Xander, everybody I thought I could trust, well except you. You didn't know?"

-"Of course not, if I did I would have kicked their asses. I can't believe that they'd do that or why? They always say I'm the evil one."

-"Well apparently, I can't think clearly when it comes to Angel. So, they decided to just not tell me. You know, safer for them." Buffy said sarcastically.

-"That's low. So instead of taking your anger on them, you're taking it out on the poor little demons."

-"Yeah, and..." She hesitated.

-"What?"

-"I feel that I need to make things right, well as much as I can. You know, maybe if I can safe enough people, I'll stop feeling guilty about the people I didn't save."

-"B, it wasn't your fault." Faith tried to convince her but Buffy had other ideas.

-"Not directly, but it doesn't change anything. Those people they died because I didn't do anything to stop it." She explained.

-"But you didn't know."

-"Try telling him that. He lost everybody he loved and he thinks it's my fault, which it is. He has every right to hate me."

-"Angel could never hate you, he loves you. So, I say you make him listen." Faith suggested.

-"I can't"

-"Why not? Come on B. I'm sure it would make you feel better. You need to deal with this."

-"I don't deserve to feel better." Buffy said defeated.

-"B stop this okay. It's not your fault, it's theirs. It sucks for all those people who died, but you can't turn back time and fix it. All you can do is try to deal with it and that means facing Angel and your friends." Faith said wisely.

-"Liam McAllister."

-"What?" Faith asked confused.

-"Angel, his name isn't Angel anymore, it's Liam McAllister, he's a lawyer."

-"Then go see him." Faith suggested as if it was the easiest thing in the world to do.

-Buffy scoffed sadly. "He doesn't want to see me. He made it quite clear when I dropped by his office."

-"Make him listen then."

-"I need some time."

-"Okay, but tomorrow you need to show up at the council and face everybody."

-"Fine, can I keep going now?" Buffy asked exasperated.

-"Fine, let's go." Faith said starting to drag Buffy along with her.

-"Faith!"

-"I'm not leaving you alone. You might get killed or something, you haven't been in the field for a while."

-Buffy nodded thankfully and the two of them spent a big part of the night slaying vampires, just like in the old days.

-The next morning, Buffy and Faith walked into the council's office. Faith was there because Buffy had asked her to go for moral support and Faith had been happy to help.

-The surprise was evident on all of her friend's face upon seeing her and Faith walk into the conference room.

-"Buffy hi." Giles said nervously.

-"Don't." She stopped him immediatedly. "I'm not here for that. I have something to tell you guys. I need some time away from here, away from you, but since recent history has taught me that I can't trust you alone around here, I'm putting Faith in charge until I'm ready to come back. If you don't agree you can leave, I don't care." She finished coldly, starting to leave the room.

-"Buffy, you can trust us." Willow argued.

-"No I can't. Faith, you're in charge." She adressed her friend who had a surprise look on her face. Obviously, she hadn't seen that one coming.

-"Buffy, you can't put her in charge." Argued Xander.

-"She's the only one I trust, she's in charge. And like I said, if you don't like it, you can leave. I'm going back home, Faith call if anyhting big happens." She shot, glaring at the others before leaving the room.

-Faith stood there, facing the others, not really knowing what to say, seeing as most of them still didn't completely trust her and obviously didn't want her in charge.

-"Okay, so let's go back to work." She told them starting to leave for the gym.

-"Faith, you know this won't last right? She's upset right now because it was about Angel, but she'll get over it, she always does." Xander said convinced.

-"I don't know. How long you think it's going to take her to forget that her soulmate died because of you guys?" She said as she left the room. Buffy had told her that she didn't want them to know that Angel was alive or that he was human and Faith was fine with hiding it from them, so she went on with her day thinking about what it was going to take for Buffy to deal with this.

-In her apartment, Buffy had spent the day cleaning up. She felt that she needed to cleanse this place and beside it was keeping her busy, keeping her from thinking too much about Angel and the pain that she had obviously caused him, not that it was really working. It had been on her mind for days and she didn't think that it was ever going to not be there. She was torn out of her thoughts by a knock on the door.

-She walked to the door decided to tell whoever it was to go to hell, that she wanted to brood alone.

-She opened the door to find the last person she had expected to see and suddenly it was like all her mind was blank. Only one word came to her mouth.

-"Angel."


	6. Chapter 6

-"Angel." It was all she could say; her mind was completely blank. She had accepted that he was alive, but she had also accepted that he now hated her. So for him to be here now, standing in front of her, it was very confusing.

-"Fine, I'm here now. So what do you want?" He all but barked at her.

-All Buffy could do was stare up at him. She had no idea what he was talking about. Finally, she regains some of her speech ability. "Wha, what are you talking about." She managed to ask. It was so hard to see this hatred look on this beautiful face of his, it was tearing her up inside.

-"Faith, threatened to kick my ass if I didn't come here to hear what you had to say. So, I'm here go ahead, tell me." He said with a cold stare in her direction.

-Buffy was frozen on the spot. Faith, Faith had gone to him and forced him to come here. She had no idea how she felt about that.

-Angel, seeing that she had no intention to speak anytime soon, just lost it.

-"You haven't changed have you? It's still all about you. You decided that there is something that you needed to do or say, so you just sent one of your minions to get me. And what, I'm supposed to come here and obey your precious little commands. Sorry, not anymore. I'm done playing your games. I stopped being one of your little lapdogs when you let my entire family die. I'm out of here." He spoke angrily before turning around and heading toward the hallway.

-Buffy still stood there, rooted to the spot. He was just so angry with her she couldn't take it. She couldn't handle the disdain in his eyes when he looked at her, it was slowly killing her. She watched him go and all of a sudden realised that if he walked away now, she was never going to see him again, and that was much harder to handle.

-"Angel." She spoke loudly. All her courage had gone toward saying his name and when he turned to look at her again, she felt like she had just been stabbed.

-The anger was gone from his eyes; all she saw as he slowly made his way back toward her, was the immense sadness that laid in his soul. All that sadness, it tore at her heart and that was saying a lot since in all their time together, Angel had always been tortured. She had seen him sad before, but that, that was much more than she had ever seen. Suddenly, she didn't know if she could face him anymore.

-Seeing as she looked frozen, Angel spoke again.

-"I loved you Buffy. God knows how much I loved you. I would have done anything for you, in fact, I'm pretty sure that I did. All I ever did, I did for you, so you would be happy. I gave up what I wanted the most for you and…"

-"Angel…" Buffy tried to ask what he was talking about, but no words would come out.

-He saw her confusion and with a sad smile said, "I'll always remember."

-It took a few seconds but then all of a sudden she was flooded with images. Her and Angel fighting a demon, arguing with each other, kissing in the sunlight, making love in his apartment, fighting the demon again, then her crying in Angel's arms as he held her.

-She looked up at him with tears in her eyes. She had had this dream before, but she had always thought that it was exactly that, just a dream. Now, she wasn't so sure.

-"Yeah, it all happened. I became human once before and I gave it up, you know why. I gave it up so you wouldn't die. I sacrificed the thing that I had wanted the most because me having that would have cost you your life."

-He paused the anger coming back. "Ironic hein? I did everything to protect your life and you did absolutely nothing to protect mine. And I thought you loved me, how stupid was I?"

-"I did. I do." She barely murmured. He looked at her for a few seconds, the sad look on his face reappearing before the anger overpowered it.

-"Yeah, just not enough to risk your life for me." He saw that she was about to object and spoke again.

-"You know what the worst part was. Even though I knew that you weren't coming, I still kept looking. As I fought and saw everybody I loved die one by one, I still kept looking, hoping to see you appear out of nowhere cracking a joke. But you didn't come and they all died. So come on, go ahead; tell me what you have to say, but know this, it doesn't matter. Whatever you have to say, it doesn't matter. A million people died and it's your fault. So go on talk. " He sneered at her.

-Once again her mind was blank. What could she say after that? He was right, it didn't matter. All those people were dead and even though it wasn't for the reason he thought, it was still her fault. There was nothing that she could say that would change that.

-"Come on Buffy, tell me what you have to say that's so important." He said getting fed up of her silence. She was the one that had summoned him here; the least she could do was actually say what she had wanted to say.

-Buffy looked up at him and was about to give up, let him walk away from her life definitely because she couldn't handle to be the reason he was in so much pain when a voice was heard.

-"B tell him." She turned to see Faith standing beside Angel in her doorway.

-"B. Come on, he needs to know." Faith pleaded. She was hurting for her friends, both of them actually. She had never seen Buffy like that, she was usually so strong. Now she looked like a lost little girl and the pain in her face was overbearing. Angel didn't look much better himself. She had to say, anger wasn't a good look on him. She looked once again at Buffy.

-"B." She tried again, but Buffy was refusing to look at her, her eyes focused on her shoes.

-"Okay, I've had enough. I'm out of here. And please next time you want to summon me, don't." He told Buffy before once again turning around to leave.

-Faith looked between Buffy and Angel repeatedly. Buffy was making no move to stop him, her eyes still focused on her damn shoes. She made a decision.

-"She didn't know." She spoke.

-Angel stopped dead in his tracks and Buffy's head shot up.

-"What?" He asked, a trace of uncertainty in his voice as he slowly made his way back into the apartment.

-Faith looked at Buffy who was glaring at her, looking somewhere between pissed and pleading. She realised that Buffy had no intention to speak as she once again went back to staring at her shoes.

-"She didn't know." Faith spoke once again. She knew that Buffy should have been the one to say it, but if her friend wasn't going to, she was going to tell Angel the truth. She couldn't go on watching Buffy be this hurt and Angel deserved, in the very least, to know the truth about what had happened.

-"What? I… I don't understand." Now it was his turn not to know what they were talking about.

-"I'm sorry big guy. You know I liked the gang and Connor was a sweet kid." She saw Angel look away to hide the tears in his eyes and then go back to staring down at her in confusion.

-"Like I just said, I'm sorry about what happened, I really am, but it wasn't Buffy's fault."

-She saw that Angel was about to object.

-"No don't." She turned to look at Buffy. "You know you should be the one to do this B."

-When she saw that Buffy was not going to look up at her or do anything close to telling Angel the truth, she sighed.

-"Just here me out okay." She told Angel and he nodded.

-"She should be the one to tell you this." She paused and they both looked at Buffy who seemed to be in some kind of trance. Faith looked at her worryingly before continuing. "I don't really know the whole story, you're going to have to talk to her for that, but the important thing is, she had no idea."

-"Faith, I…"

-"I think I remember you agreeing to hear me out, so just shut up and listen okay." Faith blew up at him. This really wasn't her place, telling him that. She had no idea how she had gotten so caught up in the Buffy-Angel drama. This was where caring for people sucked, she really wanted to help them, and she didn't want to make things worst, so she had to think before she spoke again.

-"She had no idea, neither of us did."

-"No idea what?" Angel asked wondering where she was going with this. He was starting to think that something was really wrong; he had never seen Buffy like that.

-"That you were alive for one, human or otherwise. Until you popped back into her life, Buffy was sure that you had died in the earthquake. Which by the way, she really thought was an earthquake until you, yourself, told her otherwise." There, she had said it. She looked up at Angel who had a confused look on his face.

-"What? How? It can't be, it's a lie. They told me she didn't want to help, that she didn't trust me." He said in a sad voice.

-"That's the part that is a lie. They never even told her you called until a few days ago when she confronted them about it."

-"I, It's not possible I…" He stammered. He had no idea what to believe anymore, his head was spinning.

-"Come one big guy you know it's the truth. You have to know inside you that there was no way she would have just refused to help you without even telling you herself." Faith tried again. God these two were difficult.

-"Buffy…" he spoke, his voice full of pain. When he saw that she was making no move to look at him he tried again.

-"Buffy… I need to know." He paused to gather control of his emotions. "Buffy… Is it the truth?" He asked softly.

-There was her chance. She had heard Faith tell Angel what had really happened. She knew that she should have been the one to tell him herself, but she just couldn't do it, not after all that he had said. She heard him say her name and her heart ached. It was different now, before he had been angry with her, now he was pleading. He wanted her to look him in the eye and tell him that it was the truth, she knew that. She just didn't know if she wanted to, it was just so much easier to have him think that it was all her fault.

-"Buffy? Please." He pleaded once more.

-He looked at her defeated and was about to abandon and ask Faith when she finally looked up at him.

-Her eyes were teary and bloodshed, she had obviously been crying. Tears were still running down her cheeks, and her eyes held so much pain. Before she even made a move, he knew that it was all true. Her slowly nodding only confirmed it. He had been dead wrong. All this time he had thought that she had deliberately decided that he wasn't worth her time and it had all been a lie, she hadn't known. He felt like he was going to be sick.

-"I… I need to get out of here." He mumbled to Buffy. It was just all too much, he needed to think.

-Buffy nodded sadly and Faith sent him a dirty look as she moved to hug her friends.

-He was past the door when he stopped and turned around.

-"Buffy." She slowly looked up at him. "I'll be back."

-And with that he was gone and Buffy collapsed into the younger slayer's arms, crying her eyes out.


	7. Chapter 7

-Buffy had been crying in Faith's arms for over half an hour when she finally pulled herself together enough to finally speak.

-"Why Faith? Why?" She cried as she walked to the couch and collapsed on it.

-Faith sighed and walked to the couch, sitting beside her.

-"You know he needed to hear the truth B. For both of you." She explained sadly.

-"No. Everything was fine okay. You didn't have to tell him." Buffy argued stubbornly.

-"You don't mean that. And you know that nothing was fine. You were a wreck Buffy. You couldn't keep living with that weight on your shoulders. All these people's death, it wasn't your fault and you need to accept that and so does he."

-"But they are Faith. Him knowing the truth, it doesn't change anything. It is still my fault that all those people died." She saw that Faith was about to object.

-"Not directly, but still, it's my fault. These people, they're still dead."

-"B."

-"Just drop it Faith, you're not going to make me change my mind. All of it, it did not even matter, he still left." She finished defeated.

-"B. Come on. He probably just needed time to digest everything. Beside, he told you, he'd be back." Faith was not used to the comforting friend role, she had no idea what she was suppose to say.

-"Yeah, doesn't mean he will."

-"B…" Faith was getting exasperated.

-"He was right."

-"About what?" Faith asked hoping this wasn't still about it all being her fault. She didn't know if she could have that argument again without throwing her friend out the window.

-"He said he did everything for me and I did nothing for him, and he's right." She said tears making an apparition in her sad eyes once again.

-"No, he's not. You know you…"

-"Yeah I did plenty. I made love to him and he lost his soul. When he finally got it back, I stabbed him with a sword and sent him to hell. He came back for me and I hid him from everybody, I treated him horribly. We dated again and that ended awfully. He almost died because of that thing with you and me and then I forced him to drink my blood. He left and even though he was gone, I still made his life horrible, showing off my seemingly perfect life in his face when he had done it all for me and was hurting because of it. Through all of that, he stuck with me. Every time I needed him he was there. When my mom died, he came. When I was resurrected, he was there again. The fight with the first, he once again came to save my ass and what did I do, I sent him away. I'm a horrible person Faith, no wonder he hates me now. He finally realised it."

-"Oh God, could you stop with the self-pity already. Angel doesn't hate you." She saw Buffy raise her eyebrow at her.

-"Ok fine, maybe he did hate you but that was before he learned that it wasn't you who decided to leave him, all his friends and part of L.A. to die an horrible death. He loves you; he always has and probably always will. As sickening to me as it is to say it, you guys have this weird connected souls kind of relationship. He's always going to love you like your always going to love him. And as of you being a horrible person well that's bull. So what, you made mistakes. So did he, he hurt you too. Screw the past, all that matters is now and how you decide to handle this now. He's human Buffy, you can finally have what you've wanted forever, stop being such a wuss and just go get it."

-Buffy dried up her tears before she spoke.

-"You know Faith, motivational speaking: an area maybe you could work on." She smiled, her first real smile in a long time.

-"You don't need motivation, you need a kick in the ass. Ever since you've found out, all you've been doing is mope around and play the victim. I say get a grip and fight back. They tried to keep you away from Angel, I say get him back. If you want Angel, and we both know you do, fight for him and get him back."

-Buffy smiled. "What about his girlfriend?"

-"Like you haven't hated the bitch from the start? Screw her. Angel's always been yours. Hell, she thinks his name is Liam." Faith said raising her eyebrow in a 'can you believe it' gesture and Buffy laughed.

-Faith was really good at this, she had made her realise that maybe it wasn't too late and that she needed to fight for Angel and deal with everything together, screw everybody else.

-"Yeah. Let's just hope he comes back though." Buffy added a little uncertain. She knew her and Angel had still a lot to discuss and she hoped that she was going to get the chance to do it.


	8. Chapter 8

-Buffy spent the next three days desperately trying not to look like she was waiting for Angel to show up, but seriously, who was she kidding. Every time the phone rang, she was jumping to her feet, every time she heard the doorbell, she was practically sprinting to the door, but he didn't show.

-She hung up on her friends seven times and slammed the door in their faces four times, but still, no Angel. She still hoped though.

-The doorbell rang once again and against her better judgment, she flew to the door.

-"Oh!"

-"I was hoping for something a little bit better than 'Oh'." Steven laughed.

-"I wasn't expecting you." She apologized, not really knowing what to say. She had almost completely forgot that he even existed.

-"But you were expecting someone." She didn't say anything. "Exactly what I guy likes to hear when he hasn't seen or heard anything from his girlfriend in over a week."

-"Oh!"

-"Buffy, I think that we need to talk." Steven started as he moved passed her and into the apartment.

-"Yeah, probably." She answered less than thrilled.

-"Are you actually going to utter more than a few words to me?"

-"Hum sorry."

-"Buffy, look I know that you were upset but I think that we need to talk about what happened."

-"What happened?" She played dumb. She didn't feel like getting into that right now.

-"Buffy!" He sighed exasperated.

-"It's complicated okay. Look Steven I like you, really I did, but we can't do this anymore. I'm sorry."

-"You're breaking up with me?" He asked completely in shock.

-"I'm sorry." She repeated, truly meaning it.

-"Why?" He couldn't believe it.

-Buffy stood there, not knowing what to say and then settled for the truth. Lies had caused her enough trouble as it was.

-"There's someone else." She started. "I didn't cheat on you." She clarified when she saw his expression. "I thought that he wasn't an option anymore and I tried to move on but now…"

-"Liam."

-"What?" she could practically hear her heartbeat in her ears. He couldn't know, there was no way she was that transparent.

-"Liam McAllister, my client, that's him isn't it?" Apparently she was. He looked at her, realization dawning on him, while she stood there completely in shock at how he could have figured it all out.

-"I'm not that stupid you know. I saw the way you were looking at him and I saw how pissed off he was when you took off. You don't get angry like that with someone you don't know. It's him right?"

-She didn't know what to say, so she simply nodded.

-"I'm sorry." She added a couple seconds afterwards.

-"Look, if it means anything, nothing's going to happen, he hates me now."

-"It doesn't." And with that he was gone.

-Buffy spent the next few hours after her unprompted break-up doing the stuff that she had been doing for over a week now, she cleaned around the house. She was pretty sure that her apartment had never been this clean before.

-She was admiring her work when she was interrupted by the doorbell once again. She sighed and moved to the door.

-She found herself face-to face with the last person that she was expecting to see.

-"Angel." She breathed.

-The two of them stood there in her doorway silently scrutinizing each other. Buffy couldn't believe that he was here. She had almost abandoned all hope, yet here he was.

-"So hum, I got punched today." He started looking as nervous as she was.

-"Huh what?" Her mind was a complete fog. It was completely blank. All that she knew for sure was that he was here, the rest was completely lost on her.

-"Your boyfriend, well ex-boyfriend apparently, he punched me during our meeting this afternoon."

-"Oh! Sorry!" She was completely speechless, what was she suppose to say anyway.

-"Huh no! That's not why I'm here. He punched me because he said that the way I had acted with you the other day, it was wrong. Said I had treated you badly."

-"I, look I…" Her brain was still trying desperately to catch on to what was going on.

-"He was right."

-"What?" She was right back at confused.

-"Can we talk?" He asked shyly.

-"Huh, yeah sure. Come on in." She awkwardly allowed him entrance into her apartment and led him into the living room.

-"I'm sorry about the way I acted before, It was wrong."

-"Angel, you don't ha…"

-"Buffy! Just hear me out. Please." She nodded.

-"I've been angry. I've been so angry, for so long. It's almost all I know how to feel anymore, anger and pain."

-"I blamed you Buffy. I put all faults on you without ever giving you the opportunity to explain."

-"Angel, you don't…"

-"I was just so upset and angry. You know, it took so much from me to even pick up the phone and call you in the first place. Learning that you didn't trust me anymore, it hurt, it really did. You know, no matter what our relationship went through, I was so sure that we'd always have this trust in each other. Knowing that we didn't have that anymore, I was so scared that you were not going to believe me, but in the end I was still convinced that you wouldn't let me down, that you would eventually come through, if not for me, for those people that we were meant to protect. I never expected you to just come out and say no without even explaining it to me yourself. I felt betrayed."

-"Angel, I'm sorry."

-"When it was all over and I looked around me and saw all those bodies, all those people that I was suppose to protect, dead, killed by those creatures, I just lost it. I was completely overtaken by grief and pain." He paused and took a deep breath.

-"When I got the gift as the called it, I didn't want it. I didn't know what I was suppose to do with it. I mean, the only reason I ever wanted to be human was so that you and I could finally be together, but after…" He breathed again.

-"I know that I should have went and confronted you right away, but I…I just couldn't bring myself to. I was just so angry, I never wanted to see or hear anything from you ever again."

-Angel saw the hurt expression on Buffy's face and corrected himself.

-"I was angry Buffy. I was angry and I was blaming you for all those deaths. I guess that it was easier to put it all on you than to admit that it was as much my fault that it was yours. I should have never started the fight when I knew that we were most likely to loose and all those people to get killed, but I was conceited. I thought that I could handle it, that I was strong enough, but I wasn't and they all died."

-"Angel." She tried to speak but he interrupted her once again.

-"It was much easier to put it all on you than to admit that it was my fault, so I did. But then I ran into you and all the anger washed out of me. I wanted you to feel as much pain and guilt as I did, I wanted revenge. I never expected, never even thought that maybe it wasn't what it looked like."

-He looked up into her eyes.

-"I'm sorry Buffy. I'm so sorry."

-She couldn't hold in the tears anymore, he was her angel again, she could see it in his eyes.

-"You don't owe me any apology Angel. I deserve for you to be angry with me. You counted on me and I let you down."

-"Buffy…"

-"No! Now it's my turn. Just hear me out okay, I need to do this." He nodded and she continued.

-"Andrew's a dumbass."

-Angel smiled.

-"I never said that I didn't trust you. I said that I didn't trust the people you were working for and that I couldn't understand how you could work in the middle of all this evil. I never meant for things to get misunderstood, and for you to get hurt. I trust you with my life, always have. I need you to believe that."

-He sighed and looked at his shoes and Buffy bit her bottom lip.

-"I know that this might take some time. I don't expect things to fix themselves, I know it's going to take awhile."

-He looked up at her again and she continued.

-"My friends, or whatever they are now, they were… The council, it's my responsibility. I should have made sure that I knew exactly what was going on, what they were doing. I trusted them, I relied on them. It's my fault. I'm sorry Angel."

-"Why?" He asked it so quietly, she doubted that he had really spoken.

-"What?"

-"Why did they do it? What did I do for them to do that to me?" There was so much pain in his voice that if she wasn't crying already, she would have been in tears.

-"I'm sorry Angel. I'm not clear on everything. All I know is that they got your call and decided that it wasn't worth the risk. They didn't tell me anything about it because they assumed that if they told me, I would have blindly forced them all with me and could have gotten them killed. They thought that I wouldn't event think things through, that all you had to do was call and I would have just run off to help you. They weren't ready to risk their lives or allow me to risk mine, even if it was none of their businesses."

-"Would you?"

-"What?"

-"If you would have known, would you have come?"

-Her head sprang up.

-"Of course Angel. I meant what I said, I trust you. If I had known that you needed my help, I wouldn't have hesitated one second. Angel, you risked your life so often for me, there was no way I would have just turned you down."

-"I believe you."

-"What?" She couldn't believe that he had just said that.

-"I believe you Buffy. I guess part of me always knew that it wasn't something that you would do, it was just easier to believe what I was being told, what I felt, then to really try and find out the truth. I don't want to take the easy way out anymore."

-"What are you saying Angel?"

-"I'm saying that I want to fix things Buffy. I want to be happy, I'm done being miserable."

-"Do you mean that you…"

-"Do you love me Buffy?"

-She was stunned into silence. She knew what she wanted to say, what she felt, she had always known, she just couldn't speak. She had never expected him to even care about her feelings for him anymore.

-He took her silence for a refusal and got up, backing away from her.

-"I'm sorry. I shouldn't have asked you that. I assumed that maybe you still felt like this, but I was wrong. Obviously you're not cookie yet, or maybe you moved on, I mean last I know you were in love with Spike. I'm going to go."

-Seeing him start to walk away, she sprang into action. She jumped to her feet and grabbed his arm quickly.

-"I do Angel."

-He turned to face her.

-"I love you Angel, I always have."

-"But you and Spike…"

-"Were nothing but friends. He was there for me when I needed someone the most and he stood by me through everything, but I was never in love with him. I've always been in love with you Angel."

-"But the cookie thing?"

-"I plead temporary insanity due to apocalypse on that one. Look I was scared about the future, I thought that I was going to die for sure, but I didn't and now I'm here and I want this, I really do. If you do that is." She looked up at him nervously.

-He smiled down at her.

-"How about we take things slow?"

-"What do you mean?" She didn't want to get her hopes up too much. She didn't think that she would be able to handle it if it wasn't what she thought and he wanted to be friends or something.

-"Date. You know, go out, get to know each other again. See how things go from there. So, what do you say?"

-She smiled her biggest smile in years.

-"I'm so in. Anytime you want."


End file.
